Stability Practice

Sometimes I think of my knitting life as a mirage, a fantasy my mind attaches to because the amount of time I put into it should only be accessible to someone of greater means and not worried about keeping a roof over her head. My mind goes to, "You should be putting your knitting time/energy toward a second job. You should be saving instead of spending on yarn."

Then I remind myself knitting is a daily stability practice, as testified to by both Julia Roberts and Michelle Obama in the past month. I'm in good company. Our own mental health can be worth gold. While knitting, I've spent countless hours (truly countless) enjoying knitting podcasters on YouTube talk about their lives and craft and felt camaraderie, despite my life being different. One of my favorites is a physician in Norway who states she chose to become a doctor in order to be able to afford her knitting. I seem to cast on as many projects as her, but without a physician's salary. I attempt to purchase only through sales and have found Little Knits based in Seattle and Hobbii of Denmark to be a great source of discounted quality wool.

The tension comes with constantly wanting to play in a sea of colored fibers but not being focused enough to systematically produce items to make a go of knitting as a business in order to receive back some of the cost of my daily joy. Each New Year I resolve to make this year the year I'll make a go of my knitting as business by mapping out a monthly schedule and business plan for small items I could sell in mass by year's end. And by end of each January, I've heard of someone who could use some comforting knit I could gift them or swooned at the latest pattern I want to make and dream of color combinations, and then I'm off to yet another cast-on. Will 2023 finally be the year I get myself organized, or does treating your joy as a business take away the joy? 

Projects I've been working on mostly for myself, in addition to a few commissions, along with a few holiday gifts. Most of the images have less than accurate camera capture of color. My Big Love for example is a forest green but appears grayish-brown on camera. 

1)  Big Love cardigan
2) A second Attune Shawl
3) Koivua Light sweater 
4) Inclinations Cowl
5) Quiet Thicket Cowl

I attempted but paused the Stephen West Mystery Knit-a-Long. Last year's MKAL was the most fun I've ever had with knitting, but I was also in a rare time off work post surgery so was able to place my full focus on it. My experience of this year's pattern feels like an engineer building a skyscraper, whereas last year's felt like wandering through an amusement park. Unsure if I'll stop after Clue 2 and wear it as a wrap, but I'd like to see it through after setting aside the yarn. ​

It's likely I'll have another surgery coming up and may end up with yet another time off work to knit. Will update when I know. My body has not been going into medically induced menopause on the hormone blockers I need to take for 6 years to prevent recurring breast cancer. So...likely surgery will be only option. Meanwhile, I've been trying very hard to combat side effects of medication like leg/joint pains and weight gain, and to that end have been spending every spare moment on the trails. I leave you with those images of where I feel most whole and most at home.